🏔️ LXI #001: How to Speak So Others (want to) Listen

Read Time: >5 mins

Today I'm going to show you how to take your communications skills to the next level.

Most of your day is spent communicating with others. Having something to say is just the start.

In a world filled with complicated and overly "corporate" ways of getting your point across. I'm going to walk through a much more organic approach. An approach that focuses on building connection, not confusion.

By building connections with others, you are more likely to achieve your goals and be seen as someone people trust and want to follow.

The problem with most guides is that they focus on hacks, rather than helping you find your own voice that allows you to communicate in a way that feels natural to you.

Authentic communication is critical to building trust.

There are no hacks or "leadership guru" tricks in this issue. Just research-backed tactics that help you communicate in a way that:

• Makes people feel valued

• Keeps others informed

• Reduces misunderstandings and confusion

That's it. Let's get going.

Step 1: Start conversations, not lectures

Chances are, you've been the victim of a 'management monologue' in your career. Leaders looking for compliance will leave little room for discussion when giving directions. By leaving little room for questions, feedback, or concerns, they ensure they get precisely what they want.

This approach leaves people feeling like junk.

Here's the switch:

Instead of, "Everybody hates the training videos in our onboarding. Go rebuild them."

Try this: "Hey, I'm thinking we need to rework our onboarding system. Where do you think we can improve?"

Creating a bias towards discussions leaves your listener feeling engaged, motivated, and valued. You'll also get better ideas and production.

Step 2: Prioritize open and candid communication

Trust is the foundation for lasting success. Trust, in part, comes from open and honest conversations.

The old "my door is always open" schtick has been around for a long time. Being open for a chat is only half the battle. What's important is that you are helping people feel heard when they do come to talk with you.

People can tell when you're not fully engaged in a conversation. If this happens too often, trust begins to break down because people feel like you don't value them.

Transparency builds trust. Do your best to be open and honest when you speak with others.

Expect the same from others.

Step 3: Seek First to Understand (Really listen to what people have to say)

The final step is more of a habit. And it's a habit that can seriously transform your life.

"Seek first to understand" is a philosophy that emphasizes the importance of actively trying to understand the perspective of others before reacting or responding to them. This means taking the time to listen and consider their thoughts, feelings, and motivations before jumping to conclusions or making assumptions.

Imagine, you are struggling with a project at work.

Would you prefer if your manager immediately offered feedback and criticisms?

Or...

Would you prefer your manager took the time to ask questions and gain a deeper understanding of the challenges you are facing?

My guess is the latter. This is what it looks like to "seek first to understand".

Practice how you ask these kinds of questions in your next conversation.

That's it for today.

See you next Saturday.

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